Lisa Paterson - Vocals
Famous for keeping all other band members updated with current perspirational and flatulant issues before during and after gigs, Lisa is loved by all of us for her charming disregard for modesty and dignity. Her personal hygiene is second to none and with the right lighting audiences find her pleasing on the eye providing she stands quite close to Mike.
Mike Ferrie - Vocals
The only real sex appeal in the band, Mike does occasionally complain about the fawning female fans and seemingly endless stream of what could only be described as abusive and degrading offers he has to put up with. Most of the time he puts a brave face on it. Please visit our Frequently Asked Questions section for more information in particular about Mike's skincare regime.
Dave MacIntosh - Bass
Known as desperate Davy by friends, enemies, lovers and his care worker, he is allowed out of the special unit twice a month to perform outrageous acts of extreme funkiness. The only known way of measuring the magnitude of his seismic bass playing is on the richter scale of funk
Andy Davie - Drums
With personal heroes like Brian May and Barry Manilow, and strongly influenced by Michael Keaton's interpretation of Batman,nobody really knows why Andy plays the drums. Best kept as low in the mix as possible with plenty of tambourine, shakers, vibro-slap and clapping from the singers to drown him out. Easier said than done............
Gerry Dawson - Trumpet
The "Fireman of Funk" Gerry can extinguish the towering inferno of rock music, the burning embers of country music and the smokey aroma of progressive rock without even unfurling the first three feet of his hose. Once he's got his engine pumping and he's perched high on the top rung of his ladder of love, he squirts torrent after torrent of high octave pleasure leaving audiences awash with his unique blend of horny funk.
Stewart Smith - Keyboards
Stewart's meteoric rise in the funk industry is as well documented as it is unparalleled. As you can see from this rare picture of his unblurred hands, he is now using the black keys as well as the white ones. There ain't no stoppin him now........He's gonna have a funky good time..........
Gareth Kerr - Saxophone
Despite his outrageous trousers, Gareth does in fact take himself seriously as a funk musician. Using only his shiny conical horn, he has been known to bring some of the female members of the audience to their knees as they respond to every nuance of his mouthpiece. The effects can be too much for some as he wreaks havoc with the full force of his electronic gadgetry causing some of the more fainthearted to be carried out completely spent and satiated.
Monique MacKenzie- Vocals
Brand new for 2021 pin your ears back and get ready for our fabulous antipodean singer Monique!! She will infect you with her infectious enthusiasm, amaze you with her amazing voice, beguile you with her beguiling charm and penetrate you with her penetrating eyes. With more harmonies up her sleeve than a barber shop quartet, what's not to like?
Bruce Wallace - Trombone
Bruce completes our horn section with his no nonsense approach which lasts until his fifth whisky when his approach turns in to complete nonsense. Forever complaining that the drums are not loud enough, he brings a dry overtone to an otherwise moist front line. It just doesn't come any funkier than this.
Niall Scott - Guitar
Simply a god of funk, Niall's monster riffs are famous throughout most of DD and AB postcodes. Even his fetching smile cannot distract agast onlookers from his devastatiing rhythm guitar and outrageous solos. With more amplification than they had for the whole of Woodstock, you won't miss a note........