Personnel

Niall Scott - Guitar

Simply a god of funk, Niall's monster riffs are famous throughout most of DD and AB postcodes. Even his fetching smile and unusual headgear cannot distract agast onlookers from his devastating rhythm guitar and outrageous solos. One of the few band members who has adopted his stage gear into his everyday life........... 

Lisa Paterson- Singer

Famous for keeping all other band members updated with current perspirational and flatulant issues before during and after gigs, Lisa is loved by all of us for her charming disregard for modesty and dignity. Her personal hygiene is second to none and with the right lighting audiences find her pleasing on the eye providing she stands quite close to Mike.

Mike Ferrie - Singer

The only real sex appeal in the band, Mike does occasionally complain about the fawning female fans and seemingly endless stream of what could be described as abusive suggestions and offers he has to put up with. Most of the time, though, he puts a brave face on it and manfully deals with the matter in hand and makes a clean fist of it. Please visit our frequently asked questions section for more information.......

Dave MacIntosh - Bass

Know as Desperate Davy by friends, enemies, lovers and his care worker, he is allowed out of the special unit twice a month to perform outrageous acts of extreme funkiness. The only known way to measure the magnitude of his seismic bass playing is on the richter scale of funk:

Andy Davie - Drums

With personal heroes like Brian May and Barry Manilow, and strongly influenced by Michael Keaton's interpretation of Batman, no-one really knows why Andy plays the drums. Best kept as low in the mix as possible with plenty of tambourine , shakers,vibro-slap and clapping from the singers to drown him out - easier said than done.

Gerry Dawson - Trumpet

The "Fireman of Funk" Gerry can extinguish the towering inferno of Rock Music, the burning embers of Country Music and the smokey aroma of Progressive Rock without even unfurling the first three feet of his hose. Once he's got his engine pumping and he's perched high on the top rung of his ladder of love, he squirts torrent after torrent of high octave pleasure leaving his audiences awash with his unique blend of horny funk.

Karan Raitt - Singer

Best known for her complex dance routines and gymnastic stage show which borders on contortionism when she's has a few, Karan always leaves audiences wondering how she manages to sing at the same time. Sometimes the positioning of her vibro-slap mid manoeuvre brings a tear to her eye, but like a true pro she never deviates so much as a semi-tone. One of the few women who can work one of those egg shaped shakers without using her hands......

Stewart Smith - Keyboards

Rising above all the usual swelling organ and fingering jokes, Stewart's meteoric rise in the funk industry is as well documented as it is unparalleled. As you can see from this rare picture of his unblurred hands, he is now using the white keys as well as the black ones. There ain't no stopping him now.....He's gonna have a funky good time.....   

Gareth Kerr - Saxophone

Despite his outrageous trousers Gareth does in fact take himself seriously as a funk musician. Using only his shiny conical horn he has been known to bring some of the female members of the audience to their knees as they respond to every nuance of his mouthpiece. The effects become too much for some as he wreaks havoc with the full force of his electronic gadgetry causing some of the more fainthearted to be carried out completely spent and satiated.

Willie Milne - Trombone

As he is too embarrased to be associated with the band and lives in fear of recognition by anyone who knows him, Willie always adopts a cunning disguise when he is playing his horn. As you can see at this gig he was trying to look like a Pimp but unfortunately ended up looking more like his Auntie Mavis. Equally unfortunately his Auntie Mavis was at the gig and recognised him immediately, so the cat's out of the bag.

Gillian Leiper - Keyboards

Gillian is the newest member of the band and is intended to fulfill one of Andy's fantasies of having a string section in Funk Connection to help out with those giant soul and disco classics. From Rose Royce to the Jackson 5 she can fairly belt out those massive orchestral arrangements, and has been doing a fantastic job until Andy mentioned some of his other fantasies which frankly have left a bad taste in her mouth.